Fanning the Flame – Blog

When Chad Phelps was called to be the youth pastor at Colonial Hills Baptist Church in Indianapolis, IN he was burdened to see the youth group grow in Christlikeness. Recently I was going through some of Chad’s documents and sermons and I came across a a page where Chad had written down the three burdens he had for his youth group. 

Chad wrote these burdens down as goals for his ministry the first year that he came to Indianapolis. Looking back on his ministry it’s clear that these three burdens became the pillars of his ministry. These burden’s that Chad had continue to teach us what is important in this life. 

Posted by Caleb

Poor Counsel #1: 
“You should keep your distance from people for a time so you can really grieve. “
When someone is really overwhelmed in a trial it can be difficult to know how to be around them. Because of this many people assume incorrectly that the grieving person needs to be alone during their pain. One of the ways that Christ comforts his flock is through his body – the church. Romans 12:15 reminds us that we should “weep with those who weep.” Jesus Christ demonstrated this kind of compassion when he wept with Mary and Martha over their loss (John 11:35).  You may be well intentioned when you tell your friend to grieve alone but you are taking away his best grief support – the church. 


Poor Counsel #2: 
“Take as long as you need to heal from your pain before ministering to other people.”
The best way to heal from the pain of a tremendous loss or a difficult trial is to reach out and minister to other people that you come into contact with. Ministry forces you to think more about the needs of others than your own personal pain. The best advice you can give to your hurting friend is to teach him how he can use his trial to help other people. 2 Corinthians 1:4 tells us that God “comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Counsel your friend to be purposeful not powerless in the midst of his darkest time.


Poor Counsel #3: 
“Your Problem is Sin . . . Stop it!”
It’s very possible that the trial that your friend finds himself in is a result of some sin he may have committed. Even if this is the case you need to remember that your goal is to get your friend to view his situation through the lens of Scripture. You want your friend to think of himself as God sees him. Biblically your friend can’t just stop sinning by himself. Furthermore, the Bible demonstrates that every trial is not a result of sin. Be careful to not to condemn before you know the facts. 

Poor Counsel #4:
“You have grieved long enough, it’s time to move on.” 
No counselor or friend would ever come out and actually say this but it can be implied. We imply this by simply changing the conversation when our friend brings up his trial or by ceasing to seek to comfort our grieving friend. The brutal nature of grief forces you to live one day at a time. If your friend has experienced a profound loss this will stay with him for the rest of his life. Grief is a lot more unusual than we think. It does not follow a logical course of a predictable timetable. Instead of trying to get him to move on teach him to rely on God more and more each day.

Poor Counsel #5:
“Since you were grieving at the time you aren’t responsible for your hurtful words or actions.” 
Since we are all human we all are prone to react negatively when we experience pain or loss. Often in grief we don’t think clearly about what we are doing. As a result we let down our guard and behave in ungodly ways at times. The truth is that our most common sin when we are hurting is to hurt other people. By “hurts” I am referring to the intentional or unintentional actions and words that hurting people can often do. These hurts are normally directed at those who are closest to the hurting person. When you are trying to help your friend it is absolutely necessary that you point out the hurtful actions and words he uses. There is never a good excuse to sin. If you are going to help your friend you must be willing to confront. 

Posted by Caleb

1.  God can save you from despair.
It’s easy to despair when we are in the midst of a great trial but the Psalmist reminds us that we can always trust God. When we are in the middle of a trial we should do just what David did: pour out our hearts to God and tell him all about our pain and suffering. God will hear your cry and lift you out of the pit of despair.

2.  God is greater than your fears. 
Along with pain and suffering trials also bring a tremendous amount of fear. Fear of what the future holds. Fear of what people will think of you. Fear of who you can trust to talk to about your trial. In the midst of your trial it is a great comfort to know that God is greater than your fears. 

3.  God really does care for you. 
Have you ever wondered if God really cares about you? I mean you are just one person in the midst of billions of people on this earth, could God really care about you as an individual? In this passage Jesus confirms that God does care about you. God actively cares for everything in his universe. If He cares about a little bird how much more will He care for you. You were made in His image.

4.  God understands your pain and suffering. 
God fully understands the sorrow of His saints. God understands your sorrow. He sees your falling tear. He’s with you in your grief. God understands your heartache and knows the bitter pain of loss. Trust him in the darkness, you cannot trust in vain.

5.  God is with you. 
This is a terrific promise that we can live by. God is with you through your trials. God sees our despair and tells us He will be with us through the midst of our trial. You are not facing your trial alone.

6.  God is truly in control. 
Since God is truly God nothing happens in this world without His knowing about it. Your trial did not come as a surprise to God. While it may be difficult to understand why God would allow the suffering and pain in your life His character teaches us that He is willing and able to sustain you through the darkest of trials

7.  God has not given up on you. 
Since God hasn’t given up on you, don’t give up on Him!

Suffering and pain are very real in this world. It occurs all around us, and sometimes it hits very close to home. We are aware of the certainty of trials in our lives and the lives of those around us but when the trials finally come most of us are totally unprepared to deal with it. There’s often anger accompanying the grief of going through a trial. People get angry at God, angry with their relatives and friends, even angry at those who are trying to come alongside them and help be a comfort or encouragement. Needless to say, those who are close to a person going through a difficult trial pretty much find themselves at a loss to know what to say. How do you help someone who is hurting? What do you say to someone when no words come to mind? What should you do when someone you care about has just suffered a tragedy? 

All of us will eventually have someone close to us who has faced a great trial. Crises in life happen to all. Here are some practical ways that you can come alongside a hurting individual and be an encouragement to them.

Let them talk.
More than anything, a hurting person wants to talk to someone – anyone – who will simply listen. James 1:19 tells us that Christians should be good listeners. For many hurting people they have simply kept their pain to themselves because they don’t think anyone really wants to hear their “sob story.” Listening might just be the paramount caregiving skill. When we really listen to people, we demonstrate that they really matter to us. By listening we are showing that we genuinely love them and want o know about their trials. Listening affirms the worth of the other person. A good listener learns to grasp not only the spoken words but also the feelings the other person is experiencing.  

Be Quiet.
This goes hand in hand with being a good listener. Sometimes the best thing to do is just not say anything. People who are grieving don’t always need to hear you say you are praying for them or you love them. Your presence alone demonstrates you care for them. When they are ready, as in the case of Job (Job 3:1), they will open up. Solomon tells us that there is “a time to keep silence and a time to speak” (Eccl. 3:7). You may have the greatest intentions of sharing words of godly counsel to your hurting friend but learn to first be quiet and cry with them before sharing any of your words of wisdom. 

Recognize the power of your presence. 
When your friend enters into a trial one of the most urgent things you need to do is simply be there. Your friend needs you most when he is in the middle of a trial. Regardless of how busy your schedule is you need to find time to be there for your friend. Some people hesitate to minister to their friend simply because they are afraid they might say the wrong words. Don’t fall into this trap. Many times just your physical presence of being there for your friend is enough. Remember: actions speak louder than words. One of the things that Job said caused him great pain was that his friends had forgotten him (Job 19:14). In a very real sense the test of true friendship is measured by how you respond when your friend is in the midst of a tragedy.

Maintain contact.
Even though the effects of the trial may wain in your mind they remain constant in your friends mind. It’s easy to forget to keep in touch with your friend. Normal grief may last months or even years. In today’s day in age it’s easy to stay in touch with your friend and let him know that you are praying for him. The occasional text or email can be a great encouragement to him. 

Give time for grief. 
Don’t try to talk your friend out of feeling pain or grief. We can do this if we’re not careful by saying things like, “Rejoice and be glad! God is in control.” “Cheer up; everything will work out in the end.” “It’s time to move on.” This kind of advice does not fit with the testimony of Romans 12:15-16 which says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” It’s important with this to not judge another person because they don’t grieve the same way you might. In the midst of a great tragedy you should not expect your friends words and thoughts to be rational and logical. Grief has a logic of its own. It comes in waves. You won’t help your friend by judging him for his emotions or pushing him away from his grief.

Avoid saying, “I know how you feel.”
Quite frankly, no two trials are the same. Even if you have experienced a similar trial as your friend you have never walked in their shoes through their particular trial. Saying that you know how you feel can insinuate two things that you don’t want to communicate to your friend. First, it can insinuate that you have all the answers since you have been through a trial just like his, Second, it can insinuate that you are the only person that can really help him through this trial. If you do have a similar experience in a trial as your friend try saying things like, “I have some understanding of what you’re going through” or “I hurt with you.” 

Meet your friends basic needs.
Many churches have made it a practice to arrange for meals to be delivered to members of their church that are going through a trial. This is a terrific way to show your love and care for your hurting friend. If you are not sure how to help your hurting friend start by meeting his physical needs. When someone is going through a big trial in their life basic needs like normal sleeping and eating patterns can become completely disrupted. When Elijah was feeling the pain of a trial God provided for him sleep and a meal (1 Kings 19). 


Posted by Caleb

This meditation on the death of a baby is rich in the hope of the Gospel. I came across this today online and wanted to pass it on.This is a message that John Piper preached for the funeral of a baby boy named Owen Glenn Shramek. Listen to this quote from one of the meditations in the sermon:

On July 27, 2013 I lost the privilege of seeing my baby niece here on earth but I gained the privilege of having the confident assurance that I will one day worship Jesus in heaven with her. 

My hope in sharing this is that it will be a source of encouragement and hope for those who have experienced the pain of losing a loved one. Click the link below to read the whole sermon. 

Pain and suffering are inherently not pleasant. We don’t like it when we experience trouble in our life no matter how insignificant that trouble may be. It’s difficult to find hope when there seems to be nothing good to look for. Frankly, it can be really easy to get angry with God when we are in the middle of a trial. The reality is that we were set up for this. Romans 8:20-21 tells us that “the creature was made subject to vanity.” We’ve been set up to fail and be frustrated whenever we trust in ourselves to get out of pain and suffering. This isn’t pessimism. It’s reality. Jesus never one time apologized for this or attempted to explain it away. Jesus clearly stated that there would indeed be trouble in this world (John 16:33).

Jesus expressed his prayer for you as you face this pain and suffering in John 17:15-18.
“I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.  Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.  As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.”

Clearly, Jesus heart for you was not that you would simply have a positive outlook on everything thrown your way. Jesus’ desire for you is not that you see yourself as strong and able to overcome everything that is thrown your way. Jesus want you to see that you are broken, needy, and desperate. He wants you to throw yourself on his graces; to run to him in the midst of your pain.

In the midst of your trial you must ask yourself, “am I trying to avoid pain at all costs?” Perhaps you are self medicating your pain by running to the pleasures of this world. Jesus’ prayer for you in the midst of your pain is that you surrender your heart to him. Don’t pretend everything is okay or deceive yourself into thinking you can fix it. Jesus want you to fall into his arms and trust completely in him. The level in which you are willing to wait for the Lord in pain and suffering is the level of joy and contentment you will experience in your walk with Him.

There is no reconciliation without brokenness. There is no hope without despair. Grace is hidden from those who refuse to admit they are sinners. Peace is concealed from those who live in unrest. There is no resurrection without death.

You have no power to comfort yourself. You have no hope to bring yourself out of despair. You must trust in the Lord in the midst of your trial. Fall into His arms of love. Rest in His goodness. Jesus is with you in your pain and suffering. 

“Why do you think people say “All sin is the same in God’s sight”?

Here are a few biblical reasons why this is wrong:

Think about it practically:

Conclusion:

Posted by Caleb

You may remember that in September 2011 well-known evangelical Pastor Perry Noble was caught up in a bit of a controversy. The controversy really had to do with ministry philosophy and practice. There was a dialogue between pastors in what was called “The Elephant Room” in one of the discussions Mr. Noble addressed with the others the differences between true worship and “strange fire.” You can read more about the controversy by following the link provided below. During this time Chad took some time to consider Biblically the ramifications of a Christian leader who is leading in the wrong direction. In a post Chad posted on October 4, 2011 he addressed what he called “Saltless Leadership.” 

“The recent Perry Noble controversy has touched off so much internet firestorm that it would be admittedly unhelpful for someone of my (limited) stature to weigh in on the debate.  That said, I believe that it highlights a larger problem that I would like to address. The problem of saltless leadership.

In Matthew 5, Following Christ’s well-known and much-loved “beatitudes,” he begins to instruct the gathered crowd regarding the obvious distinctiveness of a true Christ-follower. He does this by using the familiar salt and light analogies. He begins these analogies by authoritatively stating that true followers of Christ are, in fact, salt and light.  Given the reality that Christ authoritatively states this claim, the responsibility naturally falls upon the Christ-follower to actively engage in the purposes usually regarded as the purposes of salt and light. Light shines in darkness, and the darkness is dispelled. Salt adds a distinct flavor to food, and is useful for purposes of preservation. Both are crucial to their surroundings, in that they are markedly different from the things that they impact, but they make distinctively positive differences. In a world without light, darkness (sin in this context) runs rampant. In a world with salt-less salt (the actual wording of the text), food tastes terrible, and temperamental food spoils. Believers, as salt and light, are called upon to make a distinct, positive difference in a sinful world as they follow Christ. The consequence of ignoring our calling is clear. Should we choose not to function as salt and light, we are useless for Christ’s service. Completely, utterly useless. We might as well be trampled under by the feet of men, or hidden under a basket. Christ closes his analogy with a plea in verse 16, “so let your light shine before man, so they might see your good works, and they might glorify your father, the One in heaven.”

Pastor, I really don’t care if you’ve baptized thousands of people (Jack Hyles did that). It really doesn’t matter if yours is one of the fastest growing churches in America (Jack Hyles did that, too). It’s of no consequence that some evangelical leaders regard you as a peer (as they did with Jack Hyles).

You can annunciate the terms of the gospel with the greatest of precision. You can write books that sell like hot-cakes. You can even hold up the example of the Reformers (who probably roll over in their graves every time you do), but let’s get clear on this – When you intentionally offend those whom you deem to be “more conservative than you,” when your worship services include music from the most wicked fringes of secular artistry, when your blog-post titles can’t be read in mixed company, and when you absolutely destroy the boundaries of authorial intent in order to eisegete (term used intentionally) your favorite book into a sick perversion of the biblical text, you betray the fact that yours is not the way of the cross. You are piece of salt-less salt, and you are utterly useless to the true cause of Christ.   

It’s time to drop the pragmatic evaluation of evangelical leadership (the one that made Jack Hyles so famous). It’s time for us to recognize, mark, and avoid saltless leadership.”

Posted by Caleb

This week I was reading my devotions out of Chad’s old Bible. It’s been a joy to read some of the notes that Chad has left behind in his copy of the Bible. In the margin of 2 Corinthians 4 Chad wrote the following:

“Christ is the key to Gospel-Centered living!”
Gospel-centered living is . . . 

We tend to think of the grace of God as a grace that forgives us when we sin. While this is true we miss out on another aspect of God’s grace when we focus on this. The grace of God also empowers your life so you can passionately and purposefully. Living gospel-centered really means that you live in such a way that the Gospel is central in your daily life. You love to and adhere to both the depth of the Gospel as it applies to yourself and the breadth of the Gospel as it applies to others. We continue to praise the Lord for the testimony of Chad and Courtney. They truly lived “Gospel-centered Lives” 

Posted by Caleb

On July 27, 2013 a tragic accident took the lives of 4 people. Mrs. Tonya Weindrof, Chad and Courtney Phelps, and their unborn baby girl. Throughout history many people have asked the question, “Where do babies go when they die?” In a series of messages Pastor Chad called “Ask the Youth Pastor” Chad was asked this very question. On December 12, 2012 Chad answered that question this way: 

“Where do babies go when they die? In all of human existence, I’m sure there is nothing more heart breaking than losing a 
child, no matter what the age is. As Christians, when we decide what to believe on topics like this, we want to decide for biblical, not sentimental reasons!

God loves children:
God loving children is not enough for us to make this decision.  God loves all people, and still has to send some to hell.

However, there is an age of accountability. Throughout Scripture, there does appear to be an “age of accountability,” obviously, even though every child is born into sin, a toddler cannot comprehend the gospel story! God recognizes this:Since salvation requires a confession of sin (1 John 1:9), and since it is clear that some children can’t even comprehend their sin, it seems clear that there must be an age for each child at which God holds them responsible for their comprehension of the gospel message.

David offers hope that those who haven’t reached the age of accountability go to heaven:
I believe that this one passage, along with consideration of the character and grace of God offers hope and assurance that babies who die will go to heaven. 
Understand, that when you answer a question like that, you need to answer it with 
Scripture, like we have just done.”

What joy and peace we have knowing that Chad and Courtney are worshipping Jesus with their daughter right now. 

(For further reading on this subject check out John Macarthur’s book “Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child)

Posted by Caleb